GROWING UP PAINS

Do you want to remain a copy or become an original?This was the question I posed to my sixteen year old daughter .You see it dawned on me recently that she had become so emotionally dependent on the opinion of some influential classmates such that they dictate how she feels about herself, her fashion sense, her attitudes etc. This got me really worried because she was running the risk of growing into who she wasn’t meant to be.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate that it is impossible not to be influenced by friends especially at teenage when you people are a lot more anxious to be accepted by peers. But this dependence on peer opinion should have a limit else such a teen ends up with a stultified personality or a huge case of inferiority complex.

You see those popular mates you are so dependent on for your emotional well being are different from you. They don’t have your nature or nurture. You are as unique as you think they are.

Your nature and nurture has predisposed you to certain tendencies, preferences, attitudes, style etc. You don’t expect to be a copy and at the same time function like an original. The excellence in you must be appreciated by you and allowed to flower.

Am sure you think it’s impossible that you are good even better than those you copy.But you are.

Now how are you going to help the real you step out of that hiding place? First, you must start by learning to think for yourself when there is need to take a decision listen to your own mind; find out what you really want and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself when your well reasoned opinion is different from your mates.

Of course like every good thing you are not going to get it right immediately you start but like every other worthy skill in this life it needs practice. You must be willing to do it again and again until it  fits like a second skin. And for sticking in there your rewards will be many.

The rewards would include admiration of your mates; enhanced confidence in yourself and your talents and more importantly you would be well on your way to achieving your life ambitions.

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