I have a question for parents with teenage children; are you having fun raising them? How do you view the trial some of them can pose? I need to know because I have two teenage daughters who are so different in the “blues” department.
The first is sixteen. She has been fun, easy-going since she was a child till date.Her teenage stage so far has been uneventful. The fourteen year old is another kettle of fish entirely especially since she turned twelve.
The difference between the behavior of these two has made me come to the conclusion
that some teenagers have an easy time passing through the teen stage.
My second daughter took the “blues” meant for herself and her sister. When she turned twelve, she became Miss-you-can’t-tell-me-what-to-do. She had problems with the simplest instruction. You better not advise her on what to wear; how to behave; how to relate with others etc. in fact don’t criticize anything she does because she will either sulk for hours or throw one hell of a tantrum. Sometimes she would skip breakfast,lunch or supper just to show her displeasure.
When she does put up these acts being an impatient Mum myself, I would lash out and scold her thoroughly. But the more I scolded her the worse it became. Sometimes I came within inches of strangling that girl.
One day, I was just too tired to shout so I didn’t react to one of her very embarrassing displays rather I allowed time for both of us to calm down. Then I called her to my room and just talked. She was very responsive. In fact she apologized for her outburst. I was shocked. I had found the secret.
You see,from then, whenever I counsel instead of scold I get the best of her. Then that sweet side of her nature stays in place for a day or two then the cycle repeats itself.But there was a problem with that because patience was not one of my strongest points
You may not believe it but raising this daughter of mine is also teaching me to be patient. I am starting to believe that she received a double dose of teen ‘turbulence’ just so she could change me.
Now at fourteen, though she is far from being an angel but she has really changed. The tantrums are less severe and regular. I on the other hand have much more improved relationship with friends and family because she has taught me patience.
If your teenager is a lot like my fourteen year old, perhaps her blues have helped you in some ways.